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This weekend was a classic roller coaster. There's a review of the R8 Condors mixed in but I couldn't figure out how to separated it from the story proper.
The weekend started with a blizzard that lasted until late this (Sunday) morning. We arrived late Friday night in a blizzard, skied all Saturday in one and began today in the same conditions.
I was totally outclassed this weekend on all fronts. The weather outclassed us all but for the first time in a long time I was totally outdone by both my riding partners and the terrain. There was a total of 6 of us that made it to Togakushi. 4 boys and 2 girls. Saturday the snow fell like an endless blanket and was complimented by ceaseless gales that caused instant whiteout conditions. The folks I was with were pure powder freaks. We started the day transitioning over the mountain and up to the highest ground lifts would carry us. Then, we started diving off these off-piste runs that were so steep you literally dropped into the thigh deep powder. The powder was semi-sticky. Not champaign and not cement. Somewhere in between. Everything was untouched. On the second run I had a horrifying experience. I failed to negotiate a proper turn (My boards crossed. I had them too close together and the snow pushed them across each other.) and I did a nose dive directly into the slope. The next thing I knew I came to a stop. That's when I realized I wasn't just under the snow but totally encapsulated by it. I could breath but not easily. It was like breathing through a pillow. I could not orient myself. I did not know if I was pointed up or down slope, parallel or perpendicular. I was just in a ball with the weight of the snow on me. It felt like a tomb. There was a moment of terror and then without my permission my mind switched gears. As odd as this sounds this is exactly what my mind said - "How do you eat an elephant?" "The same way you eat anything else. One bite at a time." "The difference with the elephant is you need a plan." "Eat the elephant." So, I decided that whichever part of this tomb was the hardest that must be the downhill direction. It seemed like my back was against the hardest part. So, I then thought if I could stand on the hard part that i would stand upright. It was like being in a really stiff marshmallow but I worked my way around a bit and kind of managed to push up. Then with a little leverage pushed up some more and my head poked out. I was about 3 feet under the snow. The guy behind me has one of my Sherpa's and the other was with me. I had to dig but found it pretty quickly. Snapping back in took about 5 minutes as I had to build a shelf. It was decided at that point that I was never to be the last one down a line. So the day went on as such. I stopped looking at the edge before diving off new runs as it just scared the hell out of me plus I already knew what was over the edge. Big, stiff powder. The lines were outrageous. Bordering on sheer cliffs sometimes. Well over 40 degrees. A couple of the guys said that these lines were not possible with conditions less than what we had. Anyway, these guys were killing it. We'd get to the bottom of a line, look back and you would see a handful of long, gently carved lines and mine criss-crossing at least 3 of them. I just didn't have the moxie or skills to carry the speed down those lines. Everyone was very kind and helped me up my game in this type of terrain enormously. By 1600 we were hiking out from the last run one sickening step at a time and I was utterly bereft of any pride and completely demoralized. Once we got to the hotel I also discovered that despite eating a lunch that should have been delivered on a truck bed and chomping 4 snickers bars out of my bag in the afternoon alone my blood sugar was well in the toilet. Below 20. That didn't help matters. I want to say that I wasn't somehow having an off day. I was pretty much on my game. My game just wasn't at the level required. The Sherpa's snarled and growled all day. They held up with incredible style and wanted more. I apologized to them for my mental weakness and lack of ability when I put them in the mud room for the evening. Sherpa's can do "real deal" back country. Guaranteed.
Today was better. It started off a little tense but got well quickly. Saturday night the girls came over to the boys room to drink beer and socialize. After a a few beers it became clear that one of the girls was paying me more than casual attention. Now, in practical terms that is meaningless to me because my eyes only see Mrs. Mahatma. But, when a good looking gal with incredible powder skills is showing you attention you have a social obligation to at least play along to a degree and be appreciative. I could have cared less and showed it. I was in the dumper. This morning at breakfast she treated me like a disease and it was obvious. First thing in the morning we were stuck on the bunny because the lifts were late opening due to the snowfall. At the top of our 3rd bunny run (painfully waiting to be told the next level of lifts were open) I skied over to her (she sure wasn't going to be within 20 yards of me), gave her a gentle elbow and said "How's the prettiest girl at the resort feeling today?" She gave me a hard elbow back and took off. We took the chair back up together and chatted about nothing. Then at the top the sign blocking the traversing run was dropped - we had more lifts. So, we all started taking off. The gal waved me forward and I said "You go". She said "Why?" I said "Well, 2 reasons. One you're better than me and I don't want to hold you back." I intentionally stopped. I was baiting her. "And the second reason?" "Well, if I go first it's much harder for me to stare at your butt." I said it the right way. It was cute as opposed to lecherous. It worked. A good natured whack and a 5 star smile later all was better. She batted eyelashes at me for another hour until more lifts opened.
It was at that point we parted ways. Everyone else was going looking for more ways to die and I decided to stay on the resort proper. There was redemption in that decision. I was on the Condor's for the first time and so far haven't done anything more than intermediate runs. All I knew about them at that point was that they were mild mannered, didn't like flat sections and you had to stay in the back seat in deep powder. My first solo run I headed over to one of the more difficult resort runs. I think the sign said 34 degrees. Anyway, after Saturday it looked like the kiddie playground. Some people were standing around sort of figuring out how to attack the chop and handle the slope. I boarded up like John Wayne and dove off boards pointed straight down. That is when I discovered a wonderful thing about the Condor's. They are very flexible. They turned the knee deep chop into a magic carpet ride. I was even shocked at how easy I made it look. The Condor's made me look much better than I am. All of a sudden, people were looking at what was on my feet. Within 3 runs people were actually pointing at my feet. I was getting smiles and big thumbs ups. For about 30 minutes I was a star. All the black runs felt like bunnies. Nothing on piste could harm me today. I was in-bounds royalty. Redemption.
The weekend started with a blizzard that lasted until late this (Sunday) morning. We arrived late Friday night in a blizzard, skied all Saturday in one and began today in the same conditions.
I was totally outclassed this weekend on all fronts. The weather outclassed us all but for the first time in a long time I was totally outdone by both my riding partners and the terrain. There was a total of 6 of us that made it to Togakushi. 4 boys and 2 girls. Saturday the snow fell like an endless blanket and was complimented by ceaseless gales that caused instant whiteout conditions. The folks I was with were pure powder freaks. We started the day transitioning over the mountain and up to the highest ground lifts would carry us. Then, we started diving off these off-piste runs that were so steep you literally dropped into the thigh deep powder. The powder was semi-sticky. Not champaign and not cement. Somewhere in between. Everything was untouched. On the second run I had a horrifying experience. I failed to negotiate a proper turn (My boards crossed. I had them too close together and the snow pushed them across each other.) and I did a nose dive directly into the slope. The next thing I knew I came to a stop. That's when I realized I wasn't just under the snow but totally encapsulated by it. I could breath but not easily. It was like breathing through a pillow. I could not orient myself. I did not know if I was pointed up or down slope, parallel or perpendicular. I was just in a ball with the weight of the snow on me. It felt like a tomb. There was a moment of terror and then without my permission my mind switched gears. As odd as this sounds this is exactly what my mind said - "How do you eat an elephant?" "The same way you eat anything else. One bite at a time." "The difference with the elephant is you need a plan." "Eat the elephant." So, I decided that whichever part of this tomb was the hardest that must be the downhill direction. It seemed like my back was against the hardest part. So, I then thought if I could stand on the hard part that i would stand upright. It was like being in a really stiff marshmallow but I worked my way around a bit and kind of managed to push up. Then with a little leverage pushed up some more and my head poked out. I was about 3 feet under the snow. The guy behind me has one of my Sherpa's and the other was with me. I had to dig but found it pretty quickly. Snapping back in took about 5 minutes as I had to build a shelf. It was decided at that point that I was never to be the last one down a line. So the day went on as such. I stopped looking at the edge before diving off new runs as it just scared the hell out of me plus I already knew what was over the edge. Big, stiff powder. The lines were outrageous. Bordering on sheer cliffs sometimes. Well over 40 degrees. A couple of the guys said that these lines were not possible with conditions less than what we had. Anyway, these guys were killing it. We'd get to the bottom of a line, look back and you would see a handful of long, gently carved lines and mine criss-crossing at least 3 of them. I just didn't have the moxie or skills to carry the speed down those lines. Everyone was very kind and helped me up my game in this type of terrain enormously. By 1600 we were hiking out from the last run one sickening step at a time and I was utterly bereft of any pride and completely demoralized. Once we got to the hotel I also discovered that despite eating a lunch that should have been delivered on a truck bed and chomping 4 snickers bars out of my bag in the afternoon alone my blood sugar was well in the toilet. Below 20. That didn't help matters. I want to say that I wasn't somehow having an off day. I was pretty much on my game. My game just wasn't at the level required. The Sherpa's snarled and growled all day. They held up with incredible style and wanted more. I apologized to them for my mental weakness and lack of ability when I put them in the mud room for the evening. Sherpa's can do "real deal" back country. Guaranteed.
Today was better. It started off a little tense but got well quickly. Saturday night the girls came over to the boys room to drink beer and socialize. After a a few beers it became clear that one of the girls was paying me more than casual attention. Now, in practical terms that is meaningless to me because my eyes only see Mrs. Mahatma. But, when a good looking gal with incredible powder skills is showing you attention you have a social obligation to at least play along to a degree and be appreciative. I could have cared less and showed it. I was in the dumper. This morning at breakfast she treated me like a disease and it was obvious. First thing in the morning we were stuck on the bunny because the lifts were late opening due to the snowfall. At the top of our 3rd bunny run (painfully waiting to be told the next level of lifts were open) I skied over to her (she sure wasn't going to be within 20 yards of me), gave her a gentle elbow and said "How's the prettiest girl at the resort feeling today?" She gave me a hard elbow back and took off. We took the chair back up together and chatted about nothing. Then at the top the sign blocking the traversing run was dropped - we had more lifts. So, we all started taking off. The gal waved me forward and I said "You go". She said "Why?" I said "Well, 2 reasons. One you're better than me and I don't want to hold you back." I intentionally stopped. I was baiting her. "And the second reason?" "Well, if I go first it's much harder for me to stare at your butt." I said it the right way. It was cute as opposed to lecherous. It worked. A good natured whack and a 5 star smile later all was better. She batted eyelashes at me for another hour until more lifts opened.
It was at that point we parted ways. Everyone else was going looking for more ways to die and I decided to stay on the resort proper. There was redemption in that decision. I was on the Condor's for the first time and so far haven't done anything more than intermediate runs. All I knew about them at that point was that they were mild mannered, didn't like flat sections and you had to stay in the back seat in deep powder. My first solo run I headed over to one of the more difficult resort runs. I think the sign said 34 degrees. Anyway, after Saturday it looked like the kiddie playground. Some people were standing around sort of figuring out how to attack the chop and handle the slope. I boarded up like John Wayne and dove off boards pointed straight down. That is when I discovered a wonderful thing about the Condor's. They are very flexible. They turned the knee deep chop into a magic carpet ride. I was even shocked at how easy I made it look. The Condor's made me look much better than I am. All of a sudden, people were looking at what was on my feet. Within 3 runs people were actually pointing at my feet. I was getting smiles and big thumbs ups. For about 30 minutes I was a star. All the black runs felt like bunnies. Nothing on piste could harm me today. I was in-bounds royalty. Redemption.
but i occasionally look at womens backside, though i'm sitting down when i do..its better that way
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