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Yest another low blow "satire" to our chosen form of snow sliding
- Alpina Fatboards with 8-hole bindings (retired as shot-skis)
- 2003 Line Pro with FF-pro (on loan to friend)
- 2010 KTP Revel8 Receptors with 2012 Orange Receptors
- 2012 Rockered Condors with 2010 Black Receptors
- 2014 DLP with 2021 Blue Receptors
Copied the article here so they don't get the page hits
LAUSANNE, Switzerland — The International Olympic Committee stunned the world Sunday afternoon by announcing that it will be adding snowblading and quaffing to the 2018 Winter Olympics in Beijing, China. Reactions in the snow-sports industry were mixed, with some in complete disbelief that the fringe activities were finally being taken seriously after a long history of widely being considered “things to do when you're trashed.”
The groundbreaking news was revealed by IOC president Thomas Bach during a press conference. In his comments, Bach said that by adding the new sports, the IOC is aiming to welcome a younger generation into the Olympic tent.
RELATED: Olympics Adds Skating, Surfing, Climbing For Tokyo 2020
“We’re thrilled that by opening up the Games to younger audiences, they may overlook the Games’ corrupt practices, negligent public health standards and policies that generally favor wealthy state and private actors over normal citizens,” Bach said.
Snowblading World Cup spokesperson Harry Jones told TGR that the international snowblading community has been waiting for this moment.
“It's our time,” Jones said. “We’ve been laughed at — we’ve been mocked. But who’s laughing now? We're stoked! Snowblading is finally on the cusp of not just being a sport people make fun of, and do when they’re wasted.”
Despite the enthusiasm coming from the snowblading federations, a wide plurality of quaffing teams felt that the the new inclusion would be a bad thing and that the IOC was attempting to monetize and control a by-nature chaotic sport.
“Dude, fuck that,” renowned quaffing champ Dustin “RawDog” Angel told TGR. “Those guys [the IOC] just want to ruin quaffing. They’re gonna make us follow bullshit rules — we’ll probably have to drink fucking Stella or something.”
The IOC did not comment on the controversy, but when asked what doping standards the snowbladers and quaffers would be held to, Bach, to the surprise of media outlets, deadpanned, “None.”
“We understand that these sports have historically had a proud culture of getting fucked up.” Bach explained soberly. “So to honor their integration into the Winter Olympics, we’ll be encouraging them to be as intoxicated as possible up to, during, and after competitive events.”
- Alpina Fatboards with 8-hole bindings (retired as shot-skis)
- 2003 Line Pro with FF-pro (on loan to friend)
- 2010 KTP Revel8 Receptors with 2012 Orange Receptors
- 2012 Rockered Condors with 2010 Black Receptors
- 2014 DLP with 2021 Blue Receptors
Sigh. Must be a slow week at TGR if they rolled this shit out in August. Maybe this was just an attempt to get their followers to come up from their basements and stop waxing their 235cm straight skis. That way they can get some sunlight and feel good about themselves.
Guys,
I can't tell if you are serious or not, but we have to be able to take jokes around here. If a Jewish guy got mad every time someone told a Jewish joke, everyone would get sued or have their bank accounts emptied. That post was funny. Not all Muslims blow up buildings, not all Asians know karate, not all West Virginians date their sisters, and not all shorty riders are as good as Jack and Wendel.
Okay, I'm being serious... we need to get together and do some riding this winter. I'm not sure what your plans are for the 16/17 season, if you have plans to attend Shredfest ? If not, I'll hunt you down this winter like a creepy skiboard groupie to get your autograph in Colorado.
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