Epic Thunder Storm

[EmptiMind]

Ah, Spokane is such a lovely place. 5 mountain resorts within 2 hours, several skate parks, lots of winding roads to ride in the summer, a good amount of urban skating and parkouring to be done. AND! Epic Thunder Storms. Some of the most violent and beautiful things I've witnessed.

Gah! I love this town.

I think I'm just loving life right now, and I'm not really sure why. I didn't even want to hang myself at work today.

[mahatma]

EmptiMind,

There's always tomorrow.

[EmptiMind]

Didn't want to do it today either... I even volunteered to stay late.

The new economic stimulus thing kept us ridiculously busy. I was there for 12 hours.

I'm afraid I might be bi-polar, cause nothing is getting me down right now... World is ending in three years, the girl I worship wants nothing to do with me, I'm not moving forward in life, and will still be working this job when said world ends. Nope, still happy. Can't wait to wake up tomorrow.

[DennisEvans]

Didn't want to do it today either... I even volunteered to stay late.

The new economic stimulus thing kept us ridiculously busy. I was there for 12 hours.

I'm afraid I might be bi-polar, cause nothing is getting me down right now... World is ending in three years, the girl I worship wants nothing to do with me, I'm not moving forward in life, and will still be working this job when said world ends. Nope, still happy. Can't wait to wake up tomorrow.

Shit changes man, we just have to cope. This coming from a guy that has diagnosed depression and next time he goes back to his psychologist will be tested for bipolar disorder and test anxiety. It's all about dealing with our shit. I think about suicide on a daily basis, it just takes a while for me to realize that it won't make anything better...certainly not relationships.

[EmptiMind]

Hah, this isn't sarcasm. I'm actually happy right now, and I can't explain it.

I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 15, tried to end my life a few times, plotted even more. I know what the bottom of the barrel feels like. I don't know if this is what life is suppose to feel like, or if I'm just on the upswing of a bi-polar episode.

I really hope this is what life is, because it's fantastic.

[mahatma]

So very much of life is how we view it. It really is. And while it's not the most popular notion these days those who decide to ground themselves with spiritual beliefs (this DOES NOT require religion) are the ones who are truly happy. People WILL let you down, circumstances are NEVER perfect and materialism SUCKS. Do you know I now make slightly more a year that I was making a month only months ago? Does that suck? No. Not by a long shot. But, how is that? Inside job boys and girls. An inside (of me) job. How would you like to be told by your long time doctor that if you make it to 70 years old you will have broken a lot of what is conventional wisdom about a particular, hereditary disease I have and the way it behaves inside of me? Enough to depress you if you? Maybe. Me? While I don't want to hear shit like that I don't let it slow me down for a second. I WILL see those I love and adore grow to be happy, well adjusted people. I WILL love my beyond perfect wife and when I get called home the only feelings I'm going to have are that of gratitude. While I'm here I'm going to do my level best to be a positive not a negative. A lot of shit rolls off your back once you realize the clock is ticking. Hey, FYI - your clock is ticking. Ain't a damn thing in this world going to make you happy until you decide it makes you happy. There are times on the mountain I very literally wipe away tears. Why? Gratitude. I'm brought to my knees by the majesty of what is in front of me. Humbled to a point of gratitude. So, I ask myself why don't you feel that way? Then, I remember I didn't feel that way until I found skiboarding and skiboarding just happen to show up at that perfect time. An inside job. It's all an inside job.

So, go get happy or I'm coming over there and kicking your ass. Ha ha.

[ElkCloner]

No pics?


Fail.

[EmptiMind]

I totally agree with you mahatma. But sometimes I forget myself. Right now I'm truly happy. Maybe it's because I realize that I'm doing alright. Even though I'm not making any headway in life, I'm also not falling backward.

Everytime I'm up on the mountain, on a great bluebird day. I do say thank you, because at that moment, there isn't much that can get me down.

[mahatma]

EmptiMind,

Consider this - what has changed? You. That's all. Everything else is EXACTLY as it was when you weren't feeling great. Same world. Different you. Inside job.

[mahatma]

By the way, that little thing in your hand is a magic wand. Wave it and the world becomes a wonderful place.

[FightingForAir]

Two great books on this topic if any of you are interested:

"As a Man Thinketh" by James Allen and

"Man's Search For Meaning" by Viktor Frakl

As a man thinketh focuses on how we create our reality with what we hold in our thought .... that we can either choose to be a victim of circumstances or choose to be a victor over them .... the basic jist being, "as a man thinketh, in his heart so is he."

Man's search for meaning is very similar ... written by a holocaust survivor, the core of the book is that we all have an ultimate freedom that no one can take away from us and that is the ability to choose our state of mind regardless of the circumstances around us. This coming from someone who was on the verge of death for quite a while in a concentration camp and still managed to never lose hope.

In a nutshell, it's all relative. We can wallow in our own pity-party and fret about all the things that aren't going well for us, but compared to most in this world, we are all living charmed lives. We have jobs and enough money to go skiboarding and things could always be exponentially worse for everyone one of us. It's OK to be dissatisfied but we can't let that make us discontent (there is a difference). Discontentedness comes from a disconnect between what we are/what we have and what we think we should be/should have. Dissatisfaction comes from always having a goal that stimulates us to strive to move forward/learn/grow ... even when at times it doesn't feel like we are making any progress. That's when tenacity and resiliency eventually pay off.

My 2 cents ... though it may only be worth one.