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Extra Baggage: Expecting Fees

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  • Extra Baggage: Expecting Fees

    Okay, so something happened today. And to avoid issues that may arise that, that's all I'm going to say. Essentially I didn't get a job that I was pretty much assured, and told my parents. Well to make an excruciatingly painful story short, I lost my mother's respect. Now, I know nearly everyone will side with her if they find out what was going on and I may reveal later on, but still. I have like 4 people in life, two of them have no respect for me now the other two I call my best friends and would never lose respect for me for what I did.

    But here's what really bothers me. I'm a good person, you ask any established member of this forum that knows me and they will tell you the same. I may be unlucky, have dangerous tendencies on trips, and make poor choices but I'm still a good person. Ask any girl that I've tried to date in the last 6 years, to them, I'm too nice. I'm a genuinely good person, I stand up for those who are too weak to do though for themselves, I protect my friends, and the age old classic I hold doors for old ladies...hell anyone that is behind me.

    So one action, one thing that I do to make it so my life isn't completely miserable (which is getting better by the way, thanks for starting to write about how I need to feel better about myself before reading any further) makes me a completely unreliable person.

    I don't know if I should feel bad abut this but I've kind of lost a bit of respect for my family on this one. Normally I can see where they are coming from but I've just made my mind up on this. I'm not taking it, I'm a good person not a robot and I have no intentions of being anything other than what I am. It's taken me years and many good friends to realize that I finally know who I am, it's not who you want me to be, not who I want to be, not who the government wants me to be, and sure as hell not who my parents want me to be (apparently). I guess if anyone asks or even reads this I will elaborate but I'm not really comfortable with that at this point. Message me on facebook or something if you really do want to know more but I don't know. Thanks for stopping by, have a nice one.
    Revel8 ALPdors
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    Be who you are, it makes you charismatic...
    If life's not beautiful without the pain, well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again.

  • #2
    At 21 you can be any kind of person you desire, and every person pays a price for being the way that they are. It's all about choices. No body can make another person change anything long term. We are who we are by our own choices.

    We are influenced by the people we choose to surround ourselves with. If you hang out with negative people you will develop negative habits. If you hang out with positive people that will rub off on you too. If you hang out with people with money, financial opportunities are more likely to come your way. If you hang out with criminals you'll probably wind up in jail (or worse) too.

    We can't control what has happened in the past, and believe me shit happens to everyone sooner or later. What we can control are our decisions on how we choose to handle adversity today and in the future.

    I think it's a very positive sign that you are able to find the words to describe how you feel. That's a big part of dealing with the angst. Being able to share those feelings is another positive sign. Share it with your two good buds too.

    There are no magic pills, and this may take a long time to work through it. Hopefully you will find a way to get along with your parents. I'd bet that they love you a lot more than you can see right now.

    One of the reasons I love my ski club, is to help surround myself with positive happy people that don't get uptight about much of anything, enjoy life, are reasonably healthy and have a decent amount of disposable cash. That's me, that describes the kind of person I choose to be and be around. That choice has cost me a lot too. My ex-wife thinks it normal for people to fight and fuss with each other every day, I choose to believe that fighting is not normal. That cost me a marriage and more. But, at least I'm happy and she will always be a bitter hateful person. My only choice I would of had to stay with her would have been to become a bitter hateful person too. No thank you.

    Everything is a choice.